Does Time Heal all Wounds?
Many of us have heard the old adage ‘Time heals all wounds,’ and we’ve said it to those in pain or grief. It is a saying we use to be supportive and kind in uncomfortable situations. However, pet parents who have recently lost their beloved animal often say they don’t find this helpful when they are in the midst of pain. It often makes them feel overwhelmed and like they may be grieving the wrong way. Some say when they hear this, they feel rushed and try to hide their pain and return to “normal.” Everybody will process and grieve in their own way.
This got me questioning if it’s the passage of time that heals or if it is something else that heals? I want to share a personal story of grief, time, and healing.
When I was 17, I faced an agonizing decision to have my 7-year-old horse, Time-L-Tel, live in pain from an irreparable broken kneecap or euthanize him. I didn’t want him to suffer, so I made the decision to euthanize him. My family’s belief system regarding the death of animals was to sweep any feelings under the rug, bottle up emotions, and carry on as if nothing had happened. The thinking was that with time; wounds would be healed. So, learning from their example, I buried my feelings and shut down, all the while my body grieved by making me physically ill for three weeks. I desperately wished and prayed time would somehow speed by and heal me so I would feel better and be over it.
Time did go by, and I felt ‘healed.’ Then in 2008, when Nikko, the first dog I had as an adult, died, I realized there was another layer of grief beyond just her death that emerged. While grieving her, I was surprised at how this opened up 24 years of dormant emotions and grief surrounding Time-L-Tel’s death. I was now simultaneously suffering both losses: Nikko’s and Time-L-Tel’s. This is how I discovered unresolved grief from past losses can resurface with a current loss.
While I was studying Animal Communication in 2014, I had an opportunity to job shadow an equine vet for two days. I noticed how uncanny the appointments mirrored my years with Time-L-Tel from beginning to end. When I got home, I was flooded with intense grief and genuinely shocked that I was again feeling and grieving his loss. Grief and deep pain will lay dormant until the body, mind, and soul are aligned and ready for the heart to attend to them.
Because grief doesn’t have a set schedule or end date, previous losses with unresolved grief can resurface over time. This is to be expected as grief is not linear but continues to cycle through our life. Each cycle or layer is a reawakening and another opportunity to heal a little bit more as it continues to diminish the ache and pain of your grief.
It isn’t the lapse of time that heals all wounds, but rather the passage of time your inner self needs to be ready to heal. Many life circumstances or situations at the time of the loss may prevent or protect you from your grief and pain, and Know that you heal at the right time for you. The body and mind heal when the soul knows they are ready.
Does time heal all wounds?
Time creates space and distance from the loss, so your pain may integrate with the needed layers for your heart, mind and soul to heal and grow.
Do You Need Further Support?
As a certified grief educator, my Afterlife Animal Communication Session focuses on helping you walk through your grief and establish a connection with your beloved pet in the afterlife. If you are struggling or feeling alone in your grief, I am here to support you as you navigate your grief and healing journey. Schedule a session with me to help you navigate your journey. To support someone grieving a loss of a pet, go to last month’s blog here and learn how you can be there for them.
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