How To Create Greater Connection When Greeting A Dog

Animal Communication TipsBehaviour & Body Language

Jul 25

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Misunderstandings happen easily between humans even when we speak the same language. So it is no surprise that misunderstandings between humans and dogs are even more common. One way you can reduce misunderstandings is to become aware of the role body language plays in your interaction.

One common interaction where we can see vast differences in body language between humans and dogs is when greeting one another.

In North America, often when a person greets another person there's direct eye contact, straight body language, and a handshake. All of this is seen as being normal, polite, and that one is interested in the person they are meeting.

From a dog's perspective, this direct way of greeting is actually considered rude. If a dog were to approach another dog with direct eye contact and walk straight toward them, this would be seen as a threat and both dogs would likely be very defensive in this interaction.

When dogs off leash greet one another their body language is naturally less direct. They will interact according to their personality (e.g. shy, confident, timid, scared, social, curious or playful). In a greeting between dogs you will often see some of the following:

Their head turning side to side
Stopping to sniff, sit, pee, lay down, turn their back, play bow
Moving towards each other's shoulder and in a slight C-shaped curve of their body
Eye contact is to the side, relaxed and soft
Sniff each other's butt

Being on a leash, new surroundings, noises, distractions or going at a faster pace than a dog is ready are a few things that can influence a dog's body language when greeting another dog.

A common misconception dog lovers have when approaching a dog is that all dogs will like and want to be friends with us. Our human intention is good, but our perspective is often one-sided and assumes the dog wants to interact with us. When we allow ourselves to view our greetings as a 2 sided interaction, we learn to observe the dog's cues and change the interaction to be more inline with their pace.

Your Body Language Influences The Connection When Greeting a Dog

Let’s look at how you have normally greeted a dog without awareness of body language.

You walk directly towards them, look them in the eye, bend over them and pat their head all the while expecting them like you.

The dog interprets your interaction as invading their space, missing their body cues and they see this as being direct behaviour and are often uncomfortable.

How To Shift Your Body Language To Create Greater Connection When Greeting a Dog

Release expectations of an outcome
Ground in calmness and neutrality
Focus on having soft eyes - gazing gently either off to the side, or above your dog’s eyes.
Observe the dog’s body language - are they turning their head to the side and looking away- observe, don’t judge - Slow down your movements or gestures, and wait until they either look or move towards you.
Make the greeting about their pace - If the dog's body is relaxed, and/or they start to approach you - slowly begin to make soft eye contact, and continue to notice their body language as they initiate the pace.
When approaching a dog - do your best to approach from an angle, either toward their shoulder or side of their body with gentle, confident and calm energy. Observe the dog's body language cues. This may require you to stop and wait many times through the greeting. Let them decide on the pace of the interaction based on their comfort level.
Let the dog sniff you - slowly extend a flat hand, palm down for them to sniff. Continue observing their body language for cues to see if they are open to being patted.

At this point some dogs will walk away content in the greeting and others will stay and be open to pets.

Note: A dog who is comfortable with direct eye contact with a human is one who has been often taught to look a human in the eye. I typically train my dogs to look at me by using ‘watch me” as the cue. Dogs who are comfortable with eye contact are typically secure within themselves, trusting of others and have a meaningful relationship with a human.

When you are aware of your body language and begin to observe the dog's body language as a form of their communication, your interactions are more mindful and build greater respect and trust. Understanding the role of body language opens the relationship to an even deeper level of connection, understanding, and love.