The Role of Trust in Relationships with Pets

Behaviour & Body LanguageAnimal Communication Stories

Feb 6

One of the greatest gifts we can share with our pets is a relationship rooted in trust, understanding, and emotional connection. My cat, Ceelo, tested this bond on one unforgettable day a few years ago.

Ceelo, who has always been confident and grounded, had never climbed a tree until one day when his survival instinct kicked in. A neighbour's dog chased and treed him. I found him 20 feet up our huge fur tree, clinging to a branch and meowing for help.

I asked (using animal communication) if he felt he could get himself down. He hesitated but said he could try and turned to face headfirst toward the ground. My heart jumped. "No, Ceelo!" I called out, “That's not the way down. Go to that big branch to your right and rest there!” He listened, found the sturdy branch to straddle, and sat like a rider on a horse. (Ceelo is a big boy, and that gave him the relief of his weight from clinging to the tree)

I asked if he'd feel safe jumping into a blanket if the kids and I held it below. He agreed. I ran to grab a blanket, returned, and told him he'd need to climb down a few branches first so he could then safely jump. Step by step, branch by branch, I guided him from the ground, reassuring him with each move. When he reached a spot clear for the jump, I showed him where to aim, and he would jump on the count of three. I counted aloud: "One, two, three." Without hesitation, Ceelo leapt into the blanket on three. ( He never ceases to amaze me in our conversations)

The blanket broke his fall, though he quickly flipped out and landed on the ground. Scooping him up, I checked him. He’d lost several nails and was undoubtedly going to be bruised and sore, but otherwise, nothing was broken. It was a moment that exemplified the deep trust we shared. Ceelo relied on me to guide him, and I trusted his ability to follow through.

His level of trust didn't just happen overnight. Ceelo was raised by a doting mom cat who cared for him securely alongside his siblings and nurtured his cautious curiosity and innate confidence. He carried that foundation of trust and self-assurance into our relationship. Ceelo is a cat with a very balanced nervous system.

By contrast, my other cat, Madeira, a rescued 5-week kitten found abandoned on the streets 10 years ago, has needed years of patience and care to build her trust slowly. Ceelo cared for her and guided her in becoming a cat, especially since she arrived in a state where her nervous system was shut down, and she was focused solely on survival. She had only felt safe with Ceelo and me until 2 years ago when her confidence and trust brought her more regulation that she now has a few select people she comes out whenever they visit. Madeira had no secure attachment as she was found without her mother. If Madeira had been the one treed, her instinct would have been to climb higher, avoiding any rescue attempt, which would have played out very differently. Over time, her trauma has lessened, and her sense of safety and trust has grown. Trust and a sense of safety in animals are shaped during pregnancy, birth experience, how their moms attend to and raise them in their first few months, and what happens to them as they grow up.

Whether you're welcoming a new kitten or puppy, supporting a rescue, or caring for a senior or ill pet, the bond of trust you share evolves with time, showing up consistently, being predictable, patient and effort. By nurturing trust, you build a sense of safety, create a strong understanding relationship and build the connection needed to face life's challenges together. Trust is the foundation that allows you to navigate these moments side by side.

Trust: The Foundation of Your Bond

Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship with pets (or anyone, for that matter) and is built through predictability and consistency. These elements create a sense of safety, allowing your pet to relax and feel secure with you and in their environment. Consistency in daily routines, such as feeding, walks, and playtime, helps your pet know what to expect, easing anxiety and uncertainty and helping them feel secure.

Understanding your pet's unique communication style is another part of building trust. Every animal communicates differently with body cues, and they all use their senses—sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, and movement—to navigate the world. By observing your pet's body language responses, you gain more insight into how they experience their environment and what they need from you. Approaching this with curiosity and a willingness to learn deepens your connection and lays the groundwork for mutual respect.

Supporting Each Other Through Somatic Awareness

Both you and your pet are deeply attuned to each other's emotional and physical states. When one of you is stressed, it often impacts the other. Stress creates a cycle of shared energy, where your emotions ripple through your connection. This is why nervous system regulation is good for you to consider.

Somatic tools or practices that help you tune into your body can help you manage stress and create a calmer environment for your pet. Simple techniques like taking deep belly breaths, focusing by feeling your feet on the floor, gently placing a hand on your chest, and surveying your surroundings can help you return to the present moment. It can ease tension and restore a sense of balance.

Each time you practice coming in tune with your body (somatic awareness), you model regulation for yourself and your pet. Animals are attuning to our emotions, energy and body language; they can sense when we are present and grounded. Whenever you return to more presence, it nurtures trust and creates a space where co-regulation—a shared sense of ease—can occur. Keep in mind that any effort you make towards self-attunement counts. The mere recognition that you’ve drifted away from the present moment indicates your awareness, and each time you return to it, you’re strengthening that awareness.

Deepening Communication Beyond Words

Communication with your pet goes far beyond spoken word. It is about the energy you bring into a space, the intention behind your actions, and the nonverbal cues you share.

Start by paying attention to your body language. Are you tense, or are you relaxed and open? Your pet picks up on these signals far more than the words you use. The tone of your voice, the energy in your movements, and even your breathing pattern communicate volumes to them.

Create space in your interactions by allowing more moments of pause- this allows you both to process what's happening. These pauses generate more profound understanding and connection and make your communication more meaningful. ( see last month’s blog on Words Matter)

Building Trust for Challenging Times

Building a foundation of trust during good times allows for more presence during these difficult moments. As stress and calm naturally fluctuate, the goal is not to eliminate stress but to recognize and manage it when overwhelm arises. Taking time to pause, breathe, and reconnect with your body benefits both you and your pet, who thrive in an environment that exudes safety and stability. Your relationship with your pet is a journey of mutual evolution, so reflect on your interactions: Are you communicating with intention, building trust, and practicing self-awareness? These small, consistent actions create a solid foundation, enabling you to navigate the highs and lows of your bond. Life with pets is full of joy but includes inevitable challenges—aging, illness, and even the end-of-life journey. These moments are emotionally overwhelming, but building a foundation of trust in good times helps navigate difficult times with more presence.

Practical Takeaways for Pet Parents

Prioritize Predictability and Consistency: Establish routines that help your pet feel safe and secure.
Observe and Learn: Curiously approach your pet's body language and sensory experiences to understand their needs better.
Practice Somatic Awareness: Use your breath and observe yourself and your pet.
Practice the Pause: Slow down and wait for your pet’s response as they process.
Communicate With Intention: Focus on your energy, body language, and tone to further deepen your connection.
Embrace Growth: Recognize that you and your pet are evolving, and commit to learning and adapting together.

Trust is the foundation that builds our bond with our pets, whether nurturing a confident cat like Ceelo or helping a timid soul like Madeira find safety. Through shared experiences, consistent routines, and emotional connection, we create an environment where they feel secure enough to thrive. This bond transforms our relationships into powerful partnerships, allowing us to navigate life’s challenges together. By nurturing trust, we strengthen our connection and enrich our lives, making every moment with our beloved animals a testament to the love we share.