What Job Does Your Pet Truly Want?
Everyone, including our pets, fulfill specific roles within a household. Sometimes our pets are happy with their role and couldn't imagine contributing differently to the family system. But sometimes, the expected role doesn't align with the role they genuinely desire.
We often assume the job our pet wants based on their species or breed. However, determining which job your beloved pet truly wants depends on your relationship and purpose for being together.
This Is Boris’s Story
In one of my cases, the pet parent expected her new dog, Boris, to assume the role her previous dog Monty fulfilled. This was the job of the protector and guard dog for the property. When I spoke to Boris, he shared that what he wanted most was to be in the house and be the shadow companion of his person. This was very different from the guard-dog role his family expected him to fulfill naturally. The idea of being the guard dog caused him a great deal of anxiety, which resulted in him acting out through continuous barking, running circles, and digging.
When I shared Boris’ perspective with his mom, she was surprised because she had never thought Boris might want something different from his assigned role. I watched her shift then, and all her expectations and frustrations faded from learning Boris' perspective. Boris relaxed and settled as he finally felt seen for who he was and what he wanted to be, without the added pressure of her expectation of him.
Together I helped Boris, and his mom find the right job for him. He was happy to be an inside dog and protect the house. He felt being indoors allowed him to do a better job, and he was now proud and no longer anxious.
When our pets act out, it can be for many reasons, and it's good always to check and see if they feel they have the right job for them. We can introduce greater compassion and connection into our relationship when we can hear what our pets genuinely want and make changes to help them fulfill those desires.
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